Saturday, January 14, 2006

Welcome to Wal-mart

I was sitting around chatting with the family the other day when we somehow got onto the topic of High School and how it was awful that some students in my (thankfully) former school district just do not want to be in school. I knew a kid who went to high school for a year without earning a single credit. The graduation rate in my high school was under 50%. Pathetic. My brother informed us that he believed that students like this should be allowed to sign away thier right to an education and kick them out of school and allow the students who'd want to learn to stay uninterrupted.
Obviously this would have unintended consequences. First, Wal-mart stock would soar! The number of Wal-mart shoppers would skyrocket, and they would have an unlimited pool of workers to staff the stores once all the "baby daddies" were ordered to get a job and pay child support. The increased supply of workers would also increase the number of unemployed elderly leaving them with too much time on their hands and too few bingo halls on Thursday nights.
Secondly, the number of really really bad aspiring rappers would explode. You know the type, 16 year-old, 110 pound boys wearing a white t-shirt sized XXXXXXXL banging on everything in reach to get a "beat" so they can pretend they are in 8 Mile. They'd be more ubiquitous than adipose tissue in Michael Moore.
In sooth, ignorant poverty breeds crime. Obtaining an education is not only a right, it is an obligation. A better plan would be to chain these kids to their desk until all work assigned was completed. A sort of "force-feeding education." The reason why this would be necessary is a Catch-22. For many, an education is needed to see the importance of being educated. When faced with no other option but doing assigned work, eventually, the work will become bearable and the education will no longer be a forced thing.
Some are too dumb to get out of thier own way, let's not make them pound out beats in Wal-mart. I don't own any stock yet.


At 9:31 PM, Blogger Roxanne said...

I always get a sick, creepy sorta feeling everytime I'm in a Walmart. I'm sure it's not the other shoppers or employees. Hope you enjoy entering the blog world.


At 12:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why can't we just shoot these uneducated, stupid people and be done with it?

It would clean up the gene pool and hip-hop music.

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Scott Mehring said...


We can't shoot the stupid people for the same reason we can't shoot people who make ignorant comments like yourself. Everyone has a right to life.

There is nothing wrong with the genes in these people. The problem is the attitudes instilled in them. If you believe that there IS a problem with thier genes, then you are most likely referring to the fact that many of them may be lower class minorites, in which case you are a racist asshole and it is no wonder why you prefer to remain anonymous.

Have a nice day. :)

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